Friday, July 19, 2013

If you give a gardener. . .

. . . the garbage to take out she will see a weed in the lawn.

When she sees the weed, she'll get her weed tool from the greenhouse and remove the weed.

When she is removing the weed she'll see the clover that has encroached on the bed around the shed.

When she sees that clover she'll begin to pull it.

When she begins pulling it she'll decide she needs another tool, the sharp one.

When she is using the sharp tool on the clover she'll decide she needs gloves.

When she is getting the gloves out of the greenhouse she'll see the kneeler pad.

When she sees the kneeler pad, she'll grab it.

When grabbing the kneeler pad, she'll see the cultivator.

When she sees the cultivator, she'll decide she needs it, too.

If you give a gardener a weed tool, a sharp tool, a cultivator, a kneeler pad and gloves she'll decide she needs the long handled edger too.

When she has the long handled edger in hand she'll begin edging the entire length of that side of the garden by the shed.

When she is edging that entire bed, she'll hear mosquitos around her.

When the mosquitos she heard begin to attack she'll quickly put away the weed tool, and the sharp tool, and the kneeler pad, and the cultivator, and the long-handled edger, and her gloves.

When she puts away her gloves she'll go back into the house to finish cleaning up the kitchen.

When she is cleaning up the kitchen she'll realize the kitchen waste can is still on the porch.

When she realizes the can is still on the porch, she'll retrieve it.

When she retrieves it, she'll see it needs a new liner.

When she sees the can needs a new liner, she'll put in a new liner.

When she puts in the new liner, she'll look out the kitchen window.

When she looks out the kitchen window, she'll see a weed in the lawn. . .

TRUE STORY

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Journaling

Oh my, I have SO much to tell you all but it'll have to wait until another day.
  Then I'll be blogging like a mad woman.

In the meantime I want to write a bit about something I mentioned on Facebook. I'd been having a couple of days of anxiety - the kind where you can't seem to catch your breath and thoughts swirl around in your mind.  I am talking about a generalized anxiety that you can feel physically and your mind cannot rest. 

I have thankfully learned to journal. 

This type of journalling is basically pouring out anything and everything you are thinking. No correct spelling or sentence structure. No "good girl" ways of explaining things. Just the raw emotions including words like "I hate. . ." or "I am afraid. . ." or that "makes me so angry. . ."

No one will ever read these words (I am burning my journals before I die - haha!!). It is real, unedited emotions being released and it is quite amazing how it diffuses the anxiety. My counselor taught me to do this so even though I am not an "expert" this has been so helpful to me.

The second thing I do is make lists.

I am a list maker to the core. I love lists. I love to cross things off my lists. I am very visual so I need to get those to-do's out of my brain where they rattle around and into a concrete form. The beauty of lists is that many things that cause anxiety need to be seen in black & white. 

"We don't have enough money" ends up with a list of what needs to be purchased and how you will pay for it. Or not! Black & white, this is what we can or cannot afford.

"The whole house is a mess" ends up with a prioritized list so the things that are bugging me the most get accomplished first. Sometimes the other things on the list don't matter after that.

Maybe this will be helpful to someone out there. I buried my feelings and anxiety for years which resulted in major depression. Through counseling I've earned some tools to head off relapses.

I am thankful for those tools and sweet health.