Journaling

Oh my, I have SO much to tell you all but it'll have to wait until another day.

  Then I'll be blogging like a mad woman.

In the meantime I want to write a bit about something I mentioned on Facebook. I'd been having a couple of days of anxiety - the kind where you can't seem to catch your breath and thoughts swirl around in your mind.  I am talking about a generalized anxiety that you can feel physically and your mind cannot rest. 

I have thankfully learned to journal. 

This type of journalling is basically pouring out anything and everything you are thinking. No correct spelling or sentence structure. No "good girl" ways of explaining things. Just the raw emotions including words like "I hate. . ." or "I am afraid. . ." or that "makes me so angry. . ."

No one will ever read these words (I am burning my journals before I die - haha!!). It is real, unedited emotions being released and it is quite amazing how it diffuses the anxiety. My counselor taught me to do this so even though I am not an "expert" this has been so helpful to me.

The second thing I do is make lists.

I am a list maker to the core. I love lists. I love to cross things off my lists. I am very visual so I need to get those to-do's out of my brain where they rattle around and into a concrete form. The beauty of lists is that many things that cause anxiety need to be seen in black & white. 

"We don't have enough money" ends up with a list of what needs to be purchased and how you will pay for it. Or not! Black & white, this is what we can or cannot afford.

"The whole house is a mess" ends up with a prioritized list so the things that are bugging me the most get accomplished first. Sometimes the other things on the list don't matter after that.

Maybe this will be helpful to someone out there. I buried my feelings and anxiety for years which resulted in major depression. Through counseling I've earned some tools to head off relapses.

I am thankful for those tools and sweet health.